Dad is on the bus coming back home. Working far away from mom and the family is not an easy feeling for him. He always misses mom’s food and how she cares for him very little things. In returns, mom always feel peace of mind when he is around.
Recently, mom has caught many serious diseases which often cause her stresses and insomnias. She has even had to cancel an oversea tour with dad for their 33rd year anniversary. She wanted dad to come home this weekend because she need him very much to talk about her things and to ease her worrisome about her health.
Knowing her reasons, I made a joke on mom that I would come to her room every night to speak to her so that she could be comfy to sleep, but she said I could not be understanding what she is worried as well as dad could. Whenever mom needs dad, dad never refuses his presence for her. He is still taking the long bus to come home for mom, though he was unable to get a flight ticket at last minutes.
I am very touched by their love. I wonder whether I would have such an elder love like dad and mom’s, and whether someone would always be here with me and take care of me when I need him the most.
No one can explain enough what love is. No word can actually express the loving moment when I am fondly looking at your charming face on photos, knowing that my heart is beating wildly at the happy thought you are the one… Your warm wrinkled eyes speaking your wisdom and your typical gentle pursed-lipped smile showing your affection are engraved sweetly on my mind and heart. Love is naturally your dear face that makes me feel what you feel, that makes me miss you much more, and that makes me smile and cry together with you.
We grew up together and had a very beautiful childhood. In our childhood’s carefree summers, I remember I was always his adviser for video games he played. Usually I just sat by him and made a plan for him to pass challenge rounds in the games. We shared many laughters, and never seriously quarreled against each other.
Somehow he felt self-pity and got slightly envy of my achievements in academics and careers. There was one time he was so much pressured on his future. I got a text message from dad at work saying my brother got very upset about the way my parents praised me better than him. I cried while reading my dad’s message. I felt hurt for my brother. How hard he was feeling that way. I later told him that our family and myself always loved him, cared for him, and believed in him very much. Another time, he suddenly came into my room and burst out in tears like a child. He held me from behind in my worrisome and sobbed that he need so much a shoulder to cry on and to feel better. He didn’t tell me the reason why he was terribly down for that time. I guessed he was facing a life crisis.
Whenever he visits me and has a long sigh with sad eyes, I know he wants to release his stress and tiredness. He always calls me ‘little sister’ but deep in his heart I am his big sister. He is a father now. He is carrying one more big obligation with his own family and his son. I can feel that burden on his shoulder as he must give up his own choices for his son. I wish I could share his burden and help him to raise his son. To some extent, it’s my responsibility to take care of my brother and his beloved ones.
It’s kinda silly that I have a thought that I would start writing letters for my future kids from now. I want to tell them how I meet and fall in love with their future father. If I say that I am not afraid of giving all my love to my current partner, it would be a lie. I am afraid of not being loved as much as I want. You know, when we are getting older, we tend to compromise that our romantic dream about someone who would understand us, love us deeply and do everything for us is not truly realistic. I want to keep that romantic dream. I want a pure love without regrets, without pains, and without infidelities. Will you be so in love with me forever?
Los Angeles based Illustrator Kenesha Sneedtakes her love for quirky shapes and vibrant colors she uses in her graphic work and applies them to her ceramic pieces. Pretty magical to see an Illustrator working successful in two very different fields of art. Check out her shop and feed