THUY D N PHAM

Morning rain in Grenoble at 7:45am. View from my hotel room’s window. Hotel d’Angleterre Grenoble is the oldest hotel in the town. Guess I am having a small jetlag. I can hear the big clock ticking 8:00am from a nearby church. I miss you though I try to forget you.

Morning rain in Grenoble at 7:45am. View from my hotel room’s window. Hotel d’Angleterre Grenoble is the oldest hotel in the town. Guess I am having a small jetlag. I can hear the big clock ticking 8:00am from a nearby church. I miss you though I try to forget you.

— 1 day ago
#grenoble  #france 
So sleepy and tired at the airport now and waiting for a train. I’ll write later.

So sleepy and tired at the airport now and waiting for a train. I’ll write later.

— 1 day ago
Saigon - Paris

SGN airport (21/7): I brought a sleepy mind coming to the airport. I waked up in the middle of the night, around 2am and stayed until 3am sth. It happened many times recently, I slept on and off between nightmares and heartbreaks. I didn’t remember when I fell asleep again until my mom waked me. It was 5:40am while I set my alarm at 5:45am. Dad gave me a call to say safe journey, but my mind was in somewhere.

Long queues: A mother and a daughter were fighting about something. The daughter was very angry, yelled and argued in tears. She is a teenager, and her mother is still very young. They talked as if they were friends instead. Their both last words: “I got enough of you” and they slapped each other. I was shock seeing the daughter slap back. The boy was keeping silent a whole time when his sister and mother were so mad in words.

The two French guys in the opposite seats look very French, young, stylist, sweet and cute. My heart is stirring. One day my heart will stop hurting, and I will fall in love again. Life sometimes give us signs which lead to a wrong destiny. That’s okay. There is a right destiny for each of us. To love is to let go in harmony. True love will come at unexpected time.

It’s time to fly.

— 2 days ago

… I will be leaving tomorrow’s early morning when the dawn is breaking. But now, already I am so lonesome I could die…

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you are waiting for me….

— 2 days ago
#leaving on a jet plane  #sophie barker 

But if destiny decided I should look the other way, then the world would never know the greatest story ever told.

— 2 days ago
#greatest story ever told  #oliver james 
MOM AND DAUGHTER

While packing for the trip, I feel a certain sadness. Exactly one month ago, mom picked me up at the airport and I was so happy to tell her right away: “Mom, I am going to visit a good friend in Europe. I am invited.” Mom helped me to meet a load of required documents for the visa application when I told her that I need to prove my sufficient finance. As usual, she is always willing to support what I need. Mom is a simple and caring person.

"Tell me what happened to you?" Mom saw me crying miserably in my room though I tried to hide my tears. Just like a sudden rain, I was unable to stop the falling tears.

"Mom, please don’t tell everyone that I am going to Europe. I am under pressure. I will not go anywhere." I cried and said. Every relative I talked to knew about my trip. "You’d better stay home, find a job, find a husband…blah blah…" I felt no air to talk about it. I was not sure anymore that I still wanted to go.

"Tell me, if you still keep silent and cry so much like this, my heart can’t bear and I would die. Tell me. Is there something wrong with the friend you told me? Did you meet online? You shouldn’t trust online relationships." She sensed something as a mother does. I never told her.

"I don’t know. I don’t have any answer. My friend is a good person." I really didn’t know. But it hurt so much more because I rather dealt with my own problems instead of making mom sad and worried. I couldn’t find any shoulder to lean on and to let go of this life crisis. I felt myself very small and totally releasing in her caring and love. She is my mom.

"You are a crazy girl. Why don’t you choose to live simply?" I want a simple, meaningful and interesting life. Probably I just have a different definition of living simple or a minimal life.

"I am 30sth and still directionless. Take a deep breath. Get up. Stand up."

The storm was gone. I took mom to go shopping and to eat out.

Nothing to be proud of. You can make up many good words to describe yourself. It can be true or not true. I wonder if I am struggling on the road because I haven’t settled until I find what I love. Maybe I can find what I love in Europe?

— 3 days ago
#TalkingHead 

These photos bring tears to my eyes. Words hurt. A sad story. I choose for it an ending, block memories, and move on with my life.

— 3 days ago
A B C song

Saturday’s afternoon, I rode to  Pham Ngu Lao street, the backpackers’ area in Saigon to find a Lonely Planet’s book for my EU trip. It has been a while, probably 1,5 years since the last time I came to this popular place for foreigners/visitors. I was away from my city for few years. My short trips back home could not help to remind me of missing parts in my new and old memories. I almost forget streets in the city, and always find myself get lost when I go somewhere. I feel stuffy in the honking noises of vehicles and the crazy crowds of traffic while I cannot read street names clearly. My memory is lost. Looking at the curious faces of foreigners walking in Saigon streets makes me oddly smile and feel strange. Suddenly I become a stranger within familiarities of my city. My eyes get teary because I feel as if I am complaining about my city where I have always loved and dearly missed. I know there is something missing in my heart that I am trying to find it back. I need to find a balance in my perceptions of different versions of life. Now I have another life after I get back home and I am about to leave home for another trip. Things happen so quickly. Mood changes.

Sometimes he was twisting his tiny body, making his face turn red. My nephew was sleeping very peacefully. I and mom visited him again today. I don’t know whether it is because of a family connection that my heart is so touched whenever I see him. He is changing a bit more day by day in our loves. I miss and love him as much as I want to share the duty to grow him up with his parents. It is not easy to bring up a child, but his existence is a wonderful happiness. Life is different after I become an aunt. It will be different again when I am a lover, a wife and a mother.

Love was aching. Missing. Fire. Tear. Pain. Peace. Hope. Nothing new. Nothing to blame. Nothing to look back. What was said is said. What was done is done. I only regret of losing 2 kg.

Am I ready to wander the world again?

— 3 days ago
#blogging 

When I was living in CA, I loved to listen to SoCal’s FM radio while driving car. I got to know this song from that radio.

Here, Saigon is crying everyday. It is again raining now and I am hearing this song again and again.

I will bring you flowers in the morning
White roses as the sun begins to shine
Sweet perfume in tiny jewel caskets
If I thought you’d ever change your mind

I would take you where the music’s sweetest
Feed you winter fruits and summer wine
Show you things you only read in story books
If I thought you’d ever change your mind

I will bring you happiness
Wrapped up in a box and tied with a yellow bow
I will bring you rainbow skies
And summer rain to make your garden grow
And in the winter snow
My songs will keep you from the cold

But what use of flowers in the morning
When the garden they should grow in is not mine
And what use is sunshine if I’m crying
And my falling tears are mingled with the wine

— 4 days ago
#if I ever thought you'd change your mind 

Sleeping music for tonight with a little bit of rain.

— 4 days ago
#yiddish  #benny goodman 
Meet Thuy

Why did you decide to study in the US?

I have never been to US and what I perceived of the freedom of an American multinational culture (lifestyle, education, entertainments…) made me curious and challenged to explore it and integrate into it.

What’s one thing that you’re really interested in besides your academic major?

Business is my academic major for undergraduate and postgraduate (at this moment). I have worked in business for few years, but others find me non-business style when they get to know me more. Perhaps, I have another world – my feelings for the beauty. It is just speechless moment if I see an inspiring artwork, hear a beautiful melody or read a meaningful quote. I can’t tell how I understand about art because I believe that everyone of us has it in our blood, so I have my own art view: I am doing business. Business is an art. Thus, I am doing art.

What three words do you think your friends would use to describe you? What three words would you use to describe you?

I did a quick survey in my Facebook to ask friends how they describe me in 3 words after VOA Student Union asked me this question. I really love one comment from my old professor in my university back in Vietnam: “the Forrest Gump feather.” Besides that, the major judgment from the rest is “weird.”

I watched the movie long time ago, but I didn’t notice the “feather” symbol in the movie. I think the point is that the feather represents fate – Sally Field says: “It blows in the wind and just touches down here or there. Was it planned or was it just perchance?” which is somewhat true for me. Like I usually describe myself: beautism, sensitivity, and difference.

What’s one thing you like better about the US than your home country so far?

You can have everything just by one-click.

What typical American thing are you most looking forward to?

I am looking forward to a road trip to travel every single state of America. Is it an impossible dream?

What’s the one thing you most want to teach Americans about your country?

“We are communist!”

What emotion have you experienced most since leaving home?

Only one word: missing.

— 4 days ago
#reblog 
"Một mình ở châu Âu" (Alone in Europe) is the second book of Phan Viet I have just recently read besides the first one "Nước Mỹ, Nước Mỹ" (America, America).

"Bất chấp những năm tháng qua, tôi vẫn còn có khả năng rung động, vẫn còn có thể nghe, nhìn, và cảm nhận thấy cuộc sống xung quanh, tôi còn chưa đóng băng như tôi tưởng. Bên dưới cái bề mặt kết thành bởi những điều không thể chia sẻ, tôi vẫn còn là tôi như tôi biết trước đây - và tôi sẽ không chối bỏ tôi nữa. Sự thật là tôi sẽ không bao giờ có thể chối bỏ bản thân mình, không bao giờ có thể làm một ai khác. Sự thật là không một ai nên hoặc có thể chối bỏ bản thân mình, kể cả khi họ làm điều đó nhân danh tình yêu.
Sẽ khó khăn, nhưng có lẽ nỗi sợ bất hạnh là nỗi sợ hãi phí phạm nhất của đời người.”

Reading it helps me to light up my traveling spirit for my upcoming backpack trip to Europe. I don’t have any clear plan and have only small budget for the trip, but wandering the world by my instinct could be the greatest experience in my life. The most important thing is to be happy even when I am alone.
Everybody has up and down moments in life. I am not an exceptional case, but I know I am optimistic for any unknown future awaiting for me because I am honest with every feeling I have in my heart. Pack my bags and go on my own way.

"Một mình ở châu Âu" (Alone in Europe) is the second book of Phan Viet I have just recently read besides the first one "Nước Mỹ, Nước Mỹ" (America, America).

"Bất chấp những năm tháng qua, tôi vẫn còn có khả năng rung động, vẫn còn có thể nghe, nhìn, và cảm nhận thấy cuộc sống xung quanh, tôi còn chưa đóng băng như tôi tưởng. Bên dưới cái bề mặt kết thành bởi những điều không thể chia sẻ, tôi vẫn còn là tôi như tôi biết trước đây - và tôi sẽ không chối bỏ tôi nữa. Sự thật là tôi sẽ không bao giờ có thể chối bỏ bản thân mình, không bao giờ có thể làm một ai khác. Sự thật là không một ai nên hoặc có thể chối bỏ bản thân mình, kể cả khi họ làm điều đó nhân danh tình yêu.

Sẽ khó khăn, nhưng có lẽ nỗi sợ bất hạnh là nỗi sợ hãi phí phạm nhất của đời người.”

Reading it helps me to light up my traveling spirit for my upcoming backpack trip to Europe. I don’t have any clear plan and have only small budget for the trip, but wandering the world by my instinct could be the greatest experience in my life. The most important thing is to be happy even when I am alone.

Everybody has up and down moments in life. I am not an exceptional case, but I know I am optimistic for any unknown future awaiting for me because I am honest with every feeling I have in my heart. Pack my bags and go on my own way.

— 4 days ago
#alone in europe  #một mình ở châu Âu  #Phan Việt 

Now, I’m like the wind, going aimlessly on my next adventures. Life is unexpected, so it’s time to enjoy the wind flow.

— 5 days ago
#she's like the wind  #dirty dancing